I experienced some very dark times in my life. Along the way, there have been many life lessons. I have learned to be grateful during the highs and graceful during the lows.
Why I do what I do.
Maybe you are going through something now that you could use some support with. Or, you may have gone through your own dark times and can’t seem to let go of the past to get on with your life. Maybe you are so wrapped up in shame, guilt and feeling not good enough, that you don’t believe you can ever be free of those feelings. It could be that you just want to do something different with your life, but can’t seem to find the motivation to do what you know to do next.
I became a Certified Coach because I wanted to share what I have learned with others who are walking through their own difficult journeys, dealing with pent up feelings, or feeling stuck in some area of their life.
My hope is that through my writing and coaching, others will be encouraged to create a life they love. I believe that the way things are now, is not how they will always be. The past does not have to haunt us, limit us, or dictate who we can be in the world.
Too many of us believe we have to muscle our way through life and handle all our problems by ourselves. We are not meant to walk through life alone. Possibly, I can help to make your journey a little less painful and perhaps shorter as well.
A little about my journey.
My childhood was far from terrible, but when a serious illness caused my two-year-old little sister to go into a coma, things started to get a bit rocky. A few years later my mother was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and I was catapulted into adulthood in order to help my parents. Dad had severe back problems and by the time I was in my mid-twenties, Parkinson’s Disease made it impossible for him to continue working. No one knew the depth of my dad’s pain and uncertainty.
The night my dad took the lives of my mom, my sister and himself, rocked me to my core. In a few short moments, I lost half my family. I was only a few weeks away from my thirtieth birthday and it made me sit up and take notice of my own mortality. I realized life was too precious to waste and that tomorrow is not promised to any of us.
At that time, I already had one failed marriage. My second marriage failed within the next two years. By the time I was thirty-five, my third marriage was over. The failure of those three marriages caused me to feel an enormous amount of shame. I had endured physical and verbal abuse during two of those marriages and learned more than I ever wanted to know about living with an alcoholic. I had no reason to believe that a loving, healthy relationship was something I would ever have.
Problems that my children encountered in their teens and early twenties, made me think that I was the worst parent ever. I know I was so busy trying to hold my own life together, that I was not as present as I could have been for them in their early years.
I didn’t do so well with my career path either. After high school, I made the decision not to go to college. I had no plans, no goals and no clue about what I wanted to do with my life. I always did well at whatever job I took and managed to get promoted several times, but my career had no real direction.
I’m sharing this with you, because I want you to know that I am not perfect. Despite my messed-up start in adulthood, I eventually managed to create a life for myself that is far better than I ever imagined possible for me. At this time, I have been with my husband for for over 27 years and I couldn’t ask for a more loving, fulfilling relationship. If I can make my way out of the darkness into the light, so can you.
I tried therapy.
A few years after my parents and sister died, in attempt to straighten out my life, I did go the route of traditional psychological therapy, and I can honestly say it was helpful. Therapy was helpful, because I had a wonderful, supportive therapist who gave me a safe place to talk. She was like a mirror reflecting back to me the good that I could not see in myself. We went deep into my past and the process was very painful at times.
Looking back, I now believe that revisiting my past, was not what helped me heal. It was having an individual I could trust so I could openly and comfortably talk about my inner-most thoughts. I am not convinced that dragging our past out into the present is helpful. In fact, I think it may actually slow down the healing process. This is why I chose to become a Coach instead of a Psychotherapist.
What I am offering to you.
Through my training to become a coach, and many years of reading and studying psychology, self-help and the way our minds work, I have come to understand that who we are, cannot be permanently damaged by anyone or any circumstance, no matter how tragic. When I realized for the first time, that who I am at my core, is just as bright and perfect as the day I was born, a huge weight was lifted from my heart. It was then that I understood, that I am not doomed to carry around a sack of sadness, shame, guilt, anger and unworthiness for the rest of my life. I can put that load down at any time and so can you.
In each coaching session, I endeavor to listen for what is beneath my client’s words, so I can point her toward her own wisdom and enable her to find her own answers. Sure, I could give my client advice, but it would not be nearly as effective or useful. Each one of us has direct access to an intelligence greater than us. When we tap into that source, it is like having a PC that is connected to the Internet versus one that only has a hard-drive.
Coaching is not the same as therapy. The coaching process does not involve delving into your past or diagnosing your psychological condition. The type of coaching I do, is focused on taking a deep look at who you are, and finding out what would make your life work better for you.
As a Coach, I help my clients to uncover the innate wisdom, resilience and strength that exists inside each and every one of us. This is accomplished through conversations. Simple, honest and relaxed discussions that will help you to navigate the sometimes rough waters of your life with more effectiveness and grace. The principles I share can be used in your personal life as well as your work life.
Individual Coaching Sessions are priced at $50/Session. We can meet by telephone, Skype, or other video conferencing program. If you are in my geographic area, we can meet in person.
To make it easier for you to find out if you would enjoy working with me, I offer a no obligation, free 30 minute Consultation Telephone Meeting to anyone who has not used my service in the past.
There is no contract to sign, just a written agreement to keep your appointments with me and show up on time for our sessions.
How to reach me.
You can add yourself to my mailing list, by signing up for my Newsletter. (The signup box is on the home page of this website.)
I look forward to speaking with you.