Is Someone Pushing Your Buttons?
Did your spouse forget to take out the trash… again? Do you have a co-worker who gets away with not doing her job, because she is friends with the boss? Do you know someone who talks badly about you behind your back, but acts like she is your best friend when you are around? Did you narrowly escape a car accident this morning, because the person in the car next to you, who was distracted by their mobile phone, decided to move into your lane without making sure it was safe? Do you always have to clean up the mess in your house, because no one else will do it?
I can honestly say, that each one of the above scenarios has happened to me at sometime in the past. And yes, I got pissed! It happens to all of us… Someone does something or says something, or they don’t do or say something we wanted them to, and then we get upset. It’s perfectly natural and I would never tell anyone that they should not feel whatever they are feeling. Things happen and we feel whatever feeling comes up for us. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but there have been times in my life, when something someone said or did upset me so much, that I was unable to move past it for years. It wasn’t until I figured out that the anger or hurt I was carrying around, was only impacting my life. The other person did not care about what I thought or felt and there was nothing I could do to make them care or admit that they were wrong.
At one point, I came very close to having a serious breakdown because people who were important to me, were upset with me and were talking about me behind my back, but they never addressed their grievances with me. Their passive-aggressive behavior and subterfuge, made it impossible for me to have an authentic or close relationship with them. Fortunately, I found a good counselor, who helped me regain my balance. I eventually spoke to those individuals about their behavior and our relationships improved.
Unfortunately, we don’t always have the opportunity to address the situations or talk directly to the people who impact our lives in negative ways. I have experienced many of those situations as well.
Too many people hang on to the upsetting events in their lives for too long. Many of those people would like to stop being upset, but they can’t figure out how to let go without letting the other person “off the hook”.
In reality, if you are the person who can’t let go of a past incident, you are the one “on the hook”. Our inability to let go of past hurts, makes it impossible for us to have a happier today and a better tomorrow. I still get hooked by other people’s comments and behaviors. That is just part of being human. However, I have learned how to let things go faster and have more peace in my life. I would love to help you do the same.
I work with my clients, in person, by telephone, Zoom or Skype. Everyone receives their initial meeting with me, at no charge. You can call me at (678)453-6480 or complete the form below, and I will contact you to schedule a complimentary coaching session by phone.