Sometimes giving up is the answer. To continue to stay in an unfulfilling relationship because you don’t want to give up, may not always the best option in romantic relationships. When we wait with the mindset of love and patience, for someone to make a commitment to us, it is wise to keep our eyes and ears open, and pay attention to our innate wisdom.
I would never advise anyone to rush into a relationship. I have rushed into relationships enough times in my own life, to know the error of that way. We each have our own inner sense of when it is time for a relationship to move to the next level. If that is not happening, in your relationship, and you want something more, it is up to you to initiate the conversation.
If you have already discussed your desire for a greater commitment with your partner, and nothing has changed, you might be riding a dead horse.
A reluctant mate who was hurt in a previous relationship, may have genuine concerns about being hurt again. Your understanding and patience will help put their fears at rest. However, if a reasonable amount of time has passed, and your partner is making no effort to move forward with you, the time may have come for you to set yourself free.
You may be riding a dead horse, if your partner does not make you his or her priority and makes just enough effort to keep you attached. If you are spending your weekends alone, it could be a red flag. Some people are so fearful of how a commitment will change their life, that they are frozen in time. Or they might be waiting for something better to come along… you will do for now. As long as they are having fun and there is peace in the relationship, they are content to let it continue just as it is. Beware of people who paint a rosy picture of how they will have more time for your relationship in the future. When and if the “future” arrives, that person may be nowhere to be found.
In the song, “It’s in His Kiss”, Aretha Franklin, Cher, and others, proclaimed his kiss is the way you could tell if a man loved you or not. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. The best way to know, is by listening to your own inner wisdom. Too often we ignore that gnawing feeling inside, that is trying to tell us there is something not quite right about our relationship.
The voice that tells you that you are going to be all alone if you walk away from an unsatisfying relationship, or tells you that no one else will want you, is lying to you. That is not the voice of wisdom, that is the voice of fear.
Listen to the voice that tells you that you will be okay no matter what. Listen to the voice that tells you to take yourself off the bargain rack and stop settling for a relationship that does not bring you peace and contentment.
If the horse (relationship) you are riding, is dead… you know what to do.